Answer to Question #244220 in Management for Sarfaraz

Question

. Mountains and Dunes a travel company created an attractive and illustrative brochure for its prospective customers. However, an insensitive content writer created the following content which was sure to crash the business. Come and explore the undiscovered India with us. We provide an excellent service to all those travelling with us. Our special customers staying in seven-star accommodations are treated as kings. If you are one such privileged customer, our staff will be available to you 24x 7. Men would fall in love with the adventurous treks and camps we provide. Mountains and Dunes cares about women and children too. It brings to you the freedom of cooking your meals anytime of the day in the state of art kitchens attached with every accommodation that we provide. So come enjoy and feel at home with Mountains and Dunes. Remember we choose the best locations for you. You will surely enjoy our services. Though our rates are a relatively high but it is justified with the class of tourists we cater to. Bag packers are not out clients. Remember- we are a class apart and so are our clients. 

a. What are the supposedly inappropriate elements in the paragraph written by the content developer

Answer 1

The passage contains inappropriate phrases. Several etiquette mistakes should be considered to correct to make it sound appropriate to the audience. There are numerous cases where language has been misused. For example, “Men would fall in love with the adventurous treks and camps we provide,” the author should have written this way: Men would like our exciting and adventurous treks and camps. Also, the phrase “Though our rates are relatively high” is inappropriate for business marketing.