Answer to Question #242229 in Management for Shubh

Question

Come and explore the undiscovered India with us. We provide an excellent service to all those travelling with us. Our special customers staying in seven-star accommodations are treated as kings. If you are one such privileged customer, our staff will be available to you 24x 7. Mountains and Dunes cares about women and children too. It brings to you the freedom of cooking your meals anytime of the day in the state of art kitchens attached with every accommodation that we provide. So come enjoy and feel at home with Mountains and Dunes. Remember we choose the best locations for you. You will surely enjoy our services. Though our rates are a relatively high but it is justified with the class of tourists we cater to. Bag packers are not out clients. Remember- we are a class apart and so are our clients. a. What are the supposedly inappropriate elements in the paragraph written by the content developer? b. How would you rewrite the paragraph if you were given the task of editing the paragraph?

Answer 1

a.

The developer ought not to include the statement "though our rates are high". This will basically deter interested customers from using their services.

The developer included an inappropriate statement "special customers". This is inappropriate in the sense that some customers may view it as if some other customers are treated well as compared to them.

Another statement that is not appropriate is "Bag packers are not out clients." This may send a negative signal to any rational customer.

b.

Come and explore the undiscovered India with us. We offer excellent and high quality services to our customers. We treat our customers like kings whenever they get an opportunity to stay in our seven-star accommodations which are fitted with the state of the art kitchen. Our staff members are available 24-7 for any assistance and guidance. Mountains and Dunes are for all regardless of gender, age, race or sex. We offer best choice for locations that you will always admire. We offer quality services to different classes of visitors. So come and enjoy as it is all affordable and within your budget.